Happy Ending's Gone Forevermore...

Anywhere But Here...

Hey people....
As you can see yesterday's post was very very heartbreaking and heart-churning. I thought he wouldn't see it but he did. I thought I could avoid and ignore him to satisfy myself. Yet, I couldn't hold back the urge to talk to him. But i feel cold against him. Not those warm feeling i would want to have while talking to him. Instead.... I just.... I dont feel myself.. I feel numb.. I feel like I'm a stranger.. Towards him.. He was my best friend, my crush, my boyfriend, my lover and my husband.. Yet, i don't feel the same anymore.. I feel we've grown cold and plain. No excitement.. No fun.. No love.. Want to tell him "i love you" yet it takes so much of courage to do it.. why is this happening to me... why am i avoiding you more and more.. why am i staying away from you more and more.. why aren't i feeling the love i wanted when the day we got back together- 7 Sept 2010 -... I remember that date cause that was the happiest day I could ever imagined.. but why am i feeling the sadness in me again.. the tears building at the corner at my eyes.. the heavy heart that i'm carrying.. the unhappiness that fills my heart again.. was it even right going back to you.. it's not even a month and i'm filled with sadness again.. my pink little heart turning blue and black again.. not the normal healthy pumping heart... it's turning into a cold one.. a dying one.. an emo one.. but when i see him, a smile just appear from no where.. laughter appears just like that.. each step he takes makes my smile fades more and more.. all i wanna do is just stay in school.. surrounded with friends and lame jokes.. yet, i will be quiet, keeping to myself.. cause something changed me.. and i do not know what is it.. is it you, or me, or him?? sometimes i think to myself.. who am i fooling? myself or am i just so confused to have you back.. or it's just a lie.. is it the demon trying to play tricks on me.. i dont know you anymore.. i dont know anyone anymore.. it's like the world has been evolving so fast that i can't even catch up. It's like spinning my head round and round until i'm dizzy and it's time to give up.. It was never your fault that this happened.. It's just me.. Playing tricks with myself.. With my heart, my mind and my soul....


Happy Ending- Mika

This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life,
Can't get no love without sacrifice,

If anything could happen, I guess I wish you well,
A little bit of heaven, a little but of hell.

This is the hardest story I've ever told,
No hope, or love, or glory,

Happy endings gone forever more,

I feel as I'm wasted,
And I'm wastin' every day.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending,
No love, no hope, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way we love,
Like it's forever,
Then live the rest of our lives,
But not together.

2o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind,
Cant get no rest, keep walking around,
If i pretend that nothing ever went wrong, I can get to sleep,
I can think that we just carried on.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending,
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending,
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever,
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Today would be the last day I'm on since my dad would be back tmr. So I'll see you guys again on Sunday maybe.. Take care. God bless everyone. :)