Betryal of A Friendship

Hey people..

Lesson 1# - Don't promise and betray friends at the last moment.

My partner for about a year, has lost confidence in me because we lost at one open tournament. Ok, maybe not one but a few. But I dont remember partnering her for so many open tournaments. Something that hurt me the most is that her reasons to walk over for the game was because she was tired of losing and wanted to win. Well, good for her. Because she got champion for the mix doubles event that she insisted on joining as her partner was a coach. All the coaches has actually asked her to play doubles because they had been seeing us train for almost a whole year for this end-year open tournament. I sprained my ankle a day before our tournament. And eventhough my whole ankle was bruised and I can barely walk, I made myself go for the tournament because I do not want to let her down! I do not want to disappoint her as she has signed up with me.. I just wanted to play my part as a partner eventhough i'm injured badly. We may have lost. But I lost with PRIDE. Because I know I had came and done what I have to do eventhough we had lost. I lose with PRIDE because I had my partner with me during the whole game. Winning a match is not important to me. What most important to me was, having fun, doing our best and most of all, our partnership. When the coaches encourage her to play doubles, she said if i'm forced to play doubles I would drop mis and doubles. I will just play singles.. I do not feel anything because she's big enough to make her own decision whether what game she wants to play. But what hurt the most was those words. Since you dont have any interest in playing doubles because you're scared of losing why the hell you train with me all the time. All those training sessions that made us a strong good pair. All those fun times we shared. Laughter and.. most important, OUR GAME! I'm sad because I just lost a good friend and a partner. She's quiet now. I want to talk to her, but I don't know what I'm suppose to say. I'm not mad neither angry at her. I just want to know.. WHY? WHY would she do such things? I feel the anger but I dont feel the hatred. I forgive and forget. But I do not know how to approach her and talk to her again. I really don't know.. I asked GOD why would you do such things? Why would you create such things.. But if YOU want me to solve this, you got to give me a solution.. I may not partner her anymore but at least I want her as my FRIEND. Not someone that I don't know anymore. Friends are more important than anything.

Today is a lifeless day. No more laughter from my partner. Every one so gloomy. I hate this. Honestly. I want the life back in court. Not just serious faces.. I dont mind not training with her as a pair.. But I want the condition to go back as normal. Not just one person on the left and the other one on the right. It's stupid honestly.

I'm going to Singapore on Friday for maybe a week or more.. I'll miss khai deeply. That's why I'm going training tomorrow. For khai. Before I go off to Singapore. Whatever it is, khai remember, you are in my heart no matter what k? Do not simply think k? I love you. :) And Friday would be our 1 year anniversary. So the pressie that I'm gonna give you.. It may not be pricey or just something plain.. but I hope you like it.. :)

Today khai went for Nicholas's early christmas party.. So I hope he enjoys it there.

I will stop training in mid-july during my SPM year. That would be pretty bad huh? Cause I cant see khai de.. And then I would start my A levels pretty early in January so I would finish my course earlier.. That time.. Khai will have his SPM.. It may be hard for us to meet, but remember.. When there is a will, there is a way. I will do whatever I can in my hands to see you, to be in your arms once again after I leave. I may go overseas, but I'll be back for my holidays and when my course finishes, I'll be with you 24/7. I hope when you're reading this, you're not crying. You are my baby that is filled with emotion. :) Just remember, No matter how hard destiny fight against you, I aint gonna give up. All the promises I made aint empty ones. Especially the ones I made after I got back with you. They are real and staying real.. When you miss me, pick your phone up and sms me. Call even. My number will always remain in your phone. And I'll pick it up to accompany you. I know you're afraid that you will lose me someday but I wont go..

I'M ALL YOURS.