Beautiful Soul

AMAZING......

Hey, finally the dreaded date has finally arrived. PMR is over. But i got so much to do till I don't even feel the fun. I got 3 stuff to organize, thousands of letters to type.... ah... God just give me the strength to go through all this.. It's gonna drain all my strength from me.. Nothing has happened lately.. Got no mood to post.. bye..
I love you.

Waiting All My Life :)

Hey people.
Pmr is in 1 more day. Then it's over.
I got nothing much to post. Since i'm hungry now. Hehe.
Things happen. Things return back to normal. I call it confusion.
I call it life. I call it lessons. N i call it memories.
Things change so sudden till i also dont know what I'm doing.
I;m bored. But I need to study.
Dear going out for dinner tonight.. leaving me alone.. haizz...
Then cath is complaining cuz she has to wear a dress for a wedding..
Be more feminine gurl!
Haha...

I love you. See you guys after PMR.
God, i feel so itchy to play badminton. Damn. Time to lose weight man...

Cherish The Love :)

Hey peeps.
I got nothing much to update about la. Everything has been settled. He let me scold him for a while. Maybe a long time I don't know la. But well, he just stayed quiet so i can get done with him. Hehe. He knows when to shut and when to open his mouth. Lee Chong Wei finally beat LINDAN. YEAH!!!! It's time for him to gain back his confidence to win Lindan..

Anyway, i love you. So don't always think i'm thinking negative kay?
Hugs and kisses to you.

Happy Ending's Gone Forevermore...

Anywhere But Here...

Hey people....
As you can see yesterday's post was very very heartbreaking and heart-churning. I thought he wouldn't see it but he did. I thought I could avoid and ignore him to satisfy myself. Yet, I couldn't hold back the urge to talk to him. But i feel cold against him. Not those warm feeling i would want to have while talking to him. Instead.... I just.... I dont feel myself.. I feel numb.. I feel like I'm a stranger.. Towards him.. He was my best friend, my crush, my boyfriend, my lover and my husband.. Yet, i don't feel the same anymore.. I feel we've grown cold and plain. No excitement.. No fun.. No love.. Want to tell him "i love you" yet it takes so much of courage to do it.. why is this happening to me... why am i avoiding you more and more.. why am i staying away from you more and more.. why aren't i feeling the love i wanted when the day we got back together- 7 Sept 2010 -... I remember that date cause that was the happiest day I could ever imagined.. but why am i feeling the sadness in me again.. the tears building at the corner at my eyes.. the heavy heart that i'm carrying.. the unhappiness that fills my heart again.. was it even right going back to you.. it's not even a month and i'm filled with sadness again.. my pink little heart turning blue and black again.. not the normal healthy pumping heart... it's turning into a cold one.. a dying one.. an emo one.. but when i see him, a smile just appear from no where.. laughter appears just like that.. each step he takes makes my smile fades more and more.. all i wanna do is just stay in school.. surrounded with friends and lame jokes.. yet, i will be quiet, keeping to myself.. cause something changed me.. and i do not know what is it.. is it you, or me, or him?? sometimes i think to myself.. who am i fooling? myself or am i just so confused to have you back.. or it's just a lie.. is it the demon trying to play tricks on me.. i dont know you anymore.. i dont know anyone anymore.. it's like the world has been evolving so fast that i can't even catch up. It's like spinning my head round and round until i'm dizzy and it's time to give up.. It was never your fault that this happened.. It's just me.. Playing tricks with myself.. With my heart, my mind and my soul....


Happy Ending- Mika

This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life,
Can't get no love without sacrifice,

If anything could happen, I guess I wish you well,
A little bit of heaven, a little but of hell.

This is the hardest story I've ever told,
No hope, or love, or glory,

Happy endings gone forever more,

I feel as I'm wasted,
And I'm wastin' every day.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending,
No love, no hope, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way we love,
Like it's forever,
Then live the rest of our lives,
But not together.

2o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind,
Cant get no rest, keep walking around,
If i pretend that nothing ever went wrong, I can get to sleep,
I can think that we just carried on.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending,
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending,
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever,
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Today would be the last day I'm on since my dad would be back tmr. So I'll see you guys again on Sunday maybe.. Take care. God bless everyone. :)

YOU ARE NOT ANY DIFFERENT

YOU DISAPPOINT ME... AND I HATE IT.... ALL YOU DO IS HURT MY BLOODY HEART...

I dont know what to say anymore......
Was it even the right choice to choose you again....
Was it a mistake that I longed for you again?!
Cause you're no different from him!
You hurt me.
More than he does.
Cause you do it everyday!
He does it every week.. sometimes twice a month...
But he pays up for it...
How about you?! How bout you?!
All you know how to do is repeat what you're doing...
I'm sick and I'm tired..
Seriously...
I didn't expect you to reply me that..
You hurt me.. you turned my heart sour.. and you turned my mind away from you...
I don't know whether i wanna continue this path with you..
Cause i'd rather be with him than you...
He hurts me, but he doesnt do as much as you!
It doesnt hurt as much cause I'm immune to it!
Cause I understand it!
But I can't understand you anymore...
I don't know who are you anymore...
It's been 3 weeks...
I thought I love you more than I ever did...
But I guess I was wrong...
All I did was lied to myself..
Lied to myself that YOU WERE GODDAMN better than him..
You proved me wrong... Really wrong..
You crushed my heart day by day.. more and more..
Leave me alone and let me think for myself...
My heart aches and it's because of you..
You aren't making me happy as much as last time...
Infact, I smile more with him than with you...

You are no different. And I'm sticking to that fact. You ain't my dream guy. You ain't the guy I thought you WERE! It's all a lie...
In fact,
I HATE YOU NOW!!!!!!!

Awesomeness & Randomness & Mixture

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I EVER HAD......

Hya people..
How was school for all of you? Mine was usual.. Just normal school days with lots of extra classes....

I really miss you everyday. Just want time to pass and I'm back into your arms again. To feel you against me and whispers to me those 3 words in my ear.. To laugh with me... To just give me dumb look.. :) And thanks for always ditching me eventhough I understand everytime.. Haha..

You tucked me in, turned out the lights,
Keep me safe and sound at night,
Little girls depends on things like that.
Brushed my teeth and combed my hair,
Had to drive me everywhere,
You were always there when I look back.

You had to do it all alone,
Make a living, make a home,
Must have been as hard as it could be.
And when I couldn't sleep at night,
Scared things wouldn't turn out right,

You would hold my hand and sing to me.
Caterpillar in the tree,
How you wonder who you'll be,
Can't go far but you can always dream.
Wish you may and wish you might,
Dont you worry, hold on tight,
I promise you there will come a day,

Butterfly fly away.
Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away,
We've been waiting for this day,
All along and just know what to do,
Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly fly away.........

That was a song. :)

Anyway.. Dad has gone to Penang. Cath gave me a tupperware of pumpkin kuih.. And she wants me to put on more weight. Such terrible friend I have. TSK TSK. I'm bloging cuz she and my dear wants me to update. And cath, I expect on my wedding date, which is 12/6/2010... I want a cake from the above pics.. which one also i can.. but if i dont like the cake will be on ur face. Hehe. Deal.

Dear, I hope you enjoyed ur dinner eventhough you said no. Bad boy.

13 more days to PMR.

Ready. Set. Go. Ciao.

i love you. =D

Shattered Heart & Broken Dreams

I want this but i cant have it...

So i do this.....

and i would love to do this too......

Hey peeps;
Oh well. School is starting again. Anyone excited? I'm not. I just wanna lay in bed till 8.30 then do and laze around till i hit the books. But the re-opening of school makes me return back to school.

I'm back with ditcher. Heh. He ditched me everyday. Even with his promise he still does. So what should i do to punish him? I got no idea. Please give me ideas if you have. Cuz he sooo deserve to be punished. But.. he stays up late to accompany me. So well, he's forgiven. Hehe.

I'm bored. I'm lifeless. I'm updating because of baby... haiz....

YOU DONKEY CATH! I aint that sick ok. It was a coincidence that i thought of that sick thing only ma.. But you laughed what.. So you should thank me..... Cause i'm retarded, idiotic and lame.

I was flipping today's newspaper. And an article caught my eye. It's about sex. I just realised that not all teens wants to have sex before marriage. Most of them agree that sex should be done after marriage. Not before.. Some wants sex for fun. Some more enjoyment. Some because of peer pressure. Some because is to keep their lovers. Some because of falling in love. They prevent pregnancy by taking birth control pills. Most of them take up responsiblity and take precaution during this premarriage sex. Most of them don't even use protection. So you can't blame teens to get pregnant. Since less than 1% agree that they should dump their baby. So if you're planning to have sex..... Check the Internet. For preparation.
( Cath, i'm not sick... It's in the STAR )

She'll still probably call me sick. You saw how sick " we" can be right.... :D
That was just the beggining.. And i know yours too! HAHA!

I'm gonna see dear this sat. Finally. Since dad is going to Penang. So i have the chance lu. Since so long didn't see him de. What elsE?? He lost in the tournament. But he did good. So give credits to him OkAy... :) He had done me proud.

I miss hanging out with you. I miss doing everything with you. I miss feeding you. I miss touching you. I miss hugging you. I miss kising you... o.O
oh wells..... time will come.....

CATHERINE
THE PINK & BLACK WEDDING CEREMONY
10 YEARS FROM NOW....
AND A LIL CUTE BABY......
(she's gonna kill me tmr)

Anyway, i love you lots baby.
BIG FAT PANDA.
I miss you.. really....

School's starting.. And i'm gonna face the unwanted things.. But i know.. I'm over him..
So you better not make my dream come true..

I love you.
I love you.

P.S : You'll receive something on Saturday...... NOT. :x